Aspiration and Ambition

I gave a talk on ‘Aspiration and Ambition’ to a small bunch of people at work this day. The topic and thought came from talking to one of the brightest minds I have known :) What I touched upon during the talk, is in the below transcript.

I have this special talent in utilizing only the 11^th hour. My mom discovered this talent right from my school days – the talent of the 'last minute rush'. As usual, in the 11^th hour, the past night  of the scheduled talk, I glanced at the email invite and noticed that this is to be an interactive session. My eyes locked upon “Interactive”, and as is an IT person’s reflex I google “Interactive”. Google never disappoints. “Being Interactive” is to influence each other and, it is not necessarily a Q&A as is widely misunderstood. Thus I confidently declared my hope to be influenced by the open thoughts the energetic audience may have to share on the topic. And to do that, I requested them to let go of any air that they feel is around them, could be from the weight of the tag that we wear around our neck or from the chill of the comfortable room we are in. To be honest, not to sleep but, think and be ready to most sincerely introspect.

Let me narrate a very simple cycle of events in the context of our (Indian) academic system. A group of children rollicking in their early teens are systematically exposed to “the” most important phase of their education and life - the 10^th grade! We manage. A year goes by and what do we have again – “the real” most important turning point in your education pops up, Pre-University or Plus-Two! Here you are mostly given four options based on tolerance levels - Bio OR, Math OR, both OR, Commerce. It is mostly the question of Engineering or Medicine. Let us take the more common graduation among the audience here - Engineering. 4 years pass – to reveal yet another “deciding point” of our education and future – secure a job or go for higher studies! Most of the batch end up in some company or as teaching assistants in institutes. Are you able to relate to any of this or all of this? Here we are, all of us, in this esteemed IT company. Now what? We “live happily ever after”, is it? While in college our life was semester to semester, now we live project to project. The topic of today - "Aspirations and Ambitions" would have left you wondering whether I know any English. A bit and yes, I know these are synonyms. There is a reason why I chose this title. I will come back to why.

But then, the original title I had was never this. In an expeditious manner of thinking - I had originally chosen a title "What do you want to become when you grow up?”   The organizing team may have felt that title was a bit childish for their stature of functioning and so I was asked if I could come up with a better one. The responsive person that I am, I quickly changed it to what it is now. "What do you want to become when you grow up?". How many of us had always dreamt of being an engineer right from childhood and are blissfully living our childhood dream here? To be utterly honest, I never had a clue during my childhood that I would end up working in an IT services firm. While in my first grade, I wanted to be a teacher. Reasons: My mom was a professor and I liked my class teacher Ms. Syamala very much. Participating in PTA meetings made me realize that being a teacher is a risky job. By high school, I had developed an interest in reading, writing and painting and even tried my hands in versification – and I knew that I would grow up to be a journalist (who also paints). And here I am – trying to find certain technically skilled people, wondering what revenue targets to set and debating on project margins! The closest I get to journalism is Project Proposal Documents, Client Visit Preparations and the Annual award nominations (thanks to HR). Am I happy with my job? Yes I am. I have a comfortable job, I enjoy my work and, I earn enough. But then, when have I last changed my life’s ambition? When have I last aspired to do something by my own? Unfortunately, not in the past many years – after that wishful journalist dream that got diluted almost as fast as it sprouted.

Here is our first introspection moment: When have you last changed your life’s ambition? Do we really need a dream to chase, to be happy and accomplished in life?

There is a large bunch amongst us, who are inspired by Steve Jobs and Apple Inc. Who created the first Apple Computer?  Was it Jobs? What did Jobs do? As a child, did Steve Jobs always dream of being a highly successful entrepreneur? How many of us associate Jerry Kaplan with tablets? Kaplan supposedly got the idea of pen computing while on a private flight with a friend of his. His company's (GO Corporation’s) technology was precursor to the Palm and the Apple and was used by AT&T to develop the first tablet. If we read about the journey of all these people to where they finally landed up, none of them seem to have started with a dream and a much cherished ambition. Wozniak and Kaplan are not the most familiar names on bill boards and book shelves. Does that make Wozniak or Kaplan any less accomplished?

The organizing team had published an interview of mine recently where they asked me about a role model. In my response to that question I had mentioned about Nandan Nilekani. He has a legendary status, being the co-founder of Infosys. I have always been inspired by him from the first time I have directly heard him speak. What I found awesome about him is that he had the courage to let go of his status, start something from scratch and, that too something very complex at that (the UIDAI program). What would have driven him to take such a risk? Did he really have to prove his ability to anyone then?

Let us introspect on few less famous people – us – the people who are in this room. What do you consider as an accomplishment? When we are done with this job and when we look back – what do we consider as our "individual" accomplishment? What really makes you proud of yourself? Does it always have to be something accepted in high regard by a society or an organization? What if you are successful at one place and then get to move to a different place and work with a new set of people? Do you think there is a chance that your success will diminish? This is where I feel our definitions of an accomplishment and a success should differ. Again, while I have introspected, I should honestly admit that I have not done much about myself in the recent years.

I have heard a lot of people say “I want to do something different in life, something that makes me feel good. I know for sure it is not what I am doing now. However I have not yet figured out what I should be doing”. I have even heard friends say "somebody give me an idea, I will execute" :) While we are clear that what we are doing now, is not what we want to do with life, where does the resistance to try something different come from? In my opinion, it stems from two fears: (1) The Fear of Failure (2) The nudging Q in our subconscious on whether "this will fetch me a living”. Quitting a job & running a debt chasing an unknown passion, may not be the brightest practical idea. If you are still not sure on what your passion is around - be assured that you are not alone. However, for a moment think that you need to do something with your life that you feel good about and happy about. You may not know it already or You may. You have to try out varied little interests and be patient with the time you spend on these. It is not about digits on paychecks, the titles and designations. It need not be a new job or a change in career. Try out interests in a small fashion, do not chase them as potential source of new/ big income. It is similar to the case of food. Until and unless you taste the varieties how you would know what appeals to your senses of smell and taste and, agrees with your tummy. You would not jump onto making a food you happen to like now, your ‘staple food’.

The feeling of accomplishment could come from seemingly simple steps.  I felt accomplished when I baked a decent cake. I never had the dream of being a chef; I hated cooking & baking till about a year back. My interests changed over time and have been influenced by multiple factors. Can any of you guess one the happiest things I have done so far? It was the break I took in 2006 for about a year. None of the appreciation emails, the good appraisal ratings, the awards – has given me the sense of happiness that that break gave me. The break changed my perception of life and the way I consider my job. I was not idle. I read, I cooked, I walked, I traveled, watched more than 200 movies, I wrote and I lived without a Television or a Mobile Phone.  

Most of us could proudly say that we have attained equilibrium - "A condition in which all acting influences are canceled by others, resulting in a stable, balanced, or unchanging system". Here is another favorite question - "Where do you see yourself in 3 years’ time?" Honestly, I have no clue where I would be 3 or 5 years from now. It could be a string of life events that we did not have control on or, which we did not think of controlling ourselves - that have brought us to where we are today. It could have been a conscious decision too. Being where we are at present, with “our current skills paying our bills” - should we act as if we are done (the “happily-ever-after” “state of equilibrium”). Should we not look forward on what we can do next? Should we not be inquisitive and curious?

Assume that we love the place we are in and the work we do. Let go off the boundary of a client or a project and get our skill and our knowledge to the next level of usage. A lot of us stop a little too quickly. Can we truly term ourselves highly skilled labor? Keep asking "what next" and not "what 3 years down the line". With time we do hone our skills better and with these new skills & knowledge, we should be equipped to think better on our next step. We should not be afraid to try roles or work items that you feel like trying. Do not let anything cloud your wish – such excuses as 'I cannot identify an interest that makes me feel good', 'I really want to try something but I want to be settled first' or 'I do not think I have enough knowledge to try something'. The idea is not to be famous or rich – the idea is to leverage the differentiation we have as humans – the ability to think and change our ways.

We need not always have one dream to focus on and, chase for life. We need not define an end point, we need not pre-define our life and career. Discover and chase an aspiration at a time – that takes lesser time for you to achieve and one that you can surely achieve. As for young parents here - stop asking your children what they want to become when they grow up. Help them explore as many varieties of activities and topics and ask them on what they wish to do next or learn next. There is nothing sweeter than discovering how much we enjoy something new.

Encourage ourselves and the next generation to understand and realize what an accomplishment could be for an individual. Assert the individuality. It is about what you want to do with your life. Let us aspire to scale little & closer steps, than chase a long drawn ambition. The little and the easier aspirations and our accomplishments will finally get us to an ambitious life! I wish each of you the courage to be truthful about yourself. The nerve to try, the confidence to accomplish, the will to challenge the accepted norms of ‘a good life’ and the passion to live a very happy life.